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Humphrey's Awesome Obfuscator

by Geoff Gander

"Humphrey's Awesome Obfuscator" (instantly converts all written documents within a 50' radius (+10' per level of experience) into unreadable bureaucratese. Reading time for any document is tripled, and anyone attempting to read a converted document must roll a Horror Check vs. a Horror Rating of 7 (yes, even the lesser machinations of the Outer Beings pale in comparison to the unutterable horror of trying to comprehend a memo concerning the opinion of the Minister Responsible for Automated Crystal Ball Repairs and Polishing as regards a recent bilateral discussion with relevant stakeholders concerning the potentiality, a some appropriate juncture, of the reasonability of a feasibility study which, under the purview of the Director General of Carpet Cleaning, shall be conducted in accordance with existing regulations governing the fair conduction of surveys, queries, and memoranda governing the opinions of those approached for the express purpose of garnering their opinions, insofar as such an inquiry is deemed appropriate by the appropriate people, who are in continuous contact with those people who know people who determine the appropriateness of such potentially appropriate actions). Truly an awesome spell in the arsenal of any spellcasting bureaucrat!! :-)