More Mystaran Mirth
by Bruce HeardHere are jokes I picked up on the net, especially adapted to certain people on Mystara:
Herathian Wizard -- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Heldannic Knight -- The Old Ones are coming! Quick, everyone... Look busy!
A dwarven miner -- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
A Glantrian nobleman -- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
A halfling party animal -- There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
A Thyatian-lover -- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
A Glantrian nosferatu -- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Heldannic Knight -- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
An orc of Thar's Legion -- I got a catapult for my wife, best trade I ever made.
Alphaks, after a battle -- Horn broken, watch for finger.
Porphyrogenitus -- The more you complain, the longer Ixion lets you live.
Alphatian parent -- My kid had sex with your honour student.
Rad to Ixion -- Valerias loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an [bleep!]-hole.
Thyatian charioteer -- I'm just driving this way to [bleep!] you off.
Alphatian zzonga addict -- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Teacher at the Collegium Arcanum -- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Alphatian zzonga addict -- I said "no" to zzonga fruits, but they just wouldn't listen.
Wendarian philosopher -- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Red Dragon with an attitude -- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Thyatian taxpayer -- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Imperial Revenue Service.
Glantrian school dropout -- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Darokinian merchant -- Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
A Necromancer -- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Bellaynish Rakasta -- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Karameikan patriarch -- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.