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More Mystaran Mirth

by Bruce Heard

Here are jokes I picked up on the net, especially adapted to certain people on Mystara:

Herathian Wizard -- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Heldannic Knight -- The Old Ones are coming! Quick, everyone... Look busy!

A dwarven miner -- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

A Glantrian nobleman -- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A halfling party animal -- There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

A Thyatian-lover -- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

A Glantrian nosferatu -- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Heldannic Knight -- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

An orc of Thar's Legion -- I got a catapult for my wife, best trade I ever made.

Alphaks, after a battle -- Horn broken, watch for finger.

Porphyrogenitus -- The more you complain, the longer Ixion lets you live.

Alphatian parent -- My kid had sex with your honour student.

Rad to Ixion -- Valerias loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an [bleep!]-hole.

Thyatian charioteer -- I'm just driving this way to [bleep!] you off.

Alphatian zzonga addict -- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Teacher at the Collegium Arcanum -- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Alphatian zzonga addict -- I said "no" to zzonga fruits, but they just wouldn't listen.

Wendarian philosopher -- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Red Dragon with an attitude -- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Thyatian taxpayer -- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Imperial Revenue Service.

Glantrian school dropout -- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Darokinian merchant -- Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

A Necromancer -- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Bellaynish Rakasta -- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Karameikan patriarch -- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.